Prepost – The Door and the Mirror
This is not a story about rejection. This is a story about what it reveals.
I didn’t expect to write this series. I didn’t plan to. But sometimes a door doesn’t open — and in its silence, you discover the mirror you didn’t know was there.
For the past two years, I have studied the theories of Neuroscience in Educational Sciences, Education and Global Justice, Decolonisation, Intercultural ethics, and transformative education. I took over 35 ECTS of carefully chosen Open University courses from the University of Helsinki, threading together themes of global justice, feminist critique, neuroscience of learning, and multilingual pedagogy.
Alongside that, I raised two children, worked across cultures, and self-funded every credit, not as an academic exercise, but as an act of devotion. My motivation was clear: to learn deeply, live truly, and bring that learning to others.
Learning with Intention, Applying with Integrity
I am a mother of two, an immigrant, and an interdisciplinary learner. I intentionally collected 40 ECTS of master-level studies in education, global justice, feminist theory, and neuroscience. I applied twice to Changing Education (CE) and once to Intercultural Encounters (ICE). In all cases, I was either not evaluated beyond a numeric score or stopped despite clearly meeting curricular goals.
In 2023, I applied to the Changing Education Master’s Programme. In 2025, I reapplied — now with a stronger academic foundation. I also applied to Intercultural Encounters. In each case, I was evaluated by early-stage scoring metrics that dismissed most of my work.
No one read my motivation.
No one opened my academic review.
One number — 2/10, or 4/5 — decided whether the door opened.
I do not write this to protest. I write this to analyse. The silence that follows rejection is often not emptiness—it’s filled with bureaucratic design. But this series is not an appeal. This time, I turned away from the locked gate and looked in the mirror.
This Series is Not About Blame — It’s About Truth
This is not about being admitted. It’s about being seen and holding systems accountable for their teaching values.
Because if a university teaches decolonial theory but filters applicants through colonial gatekeeping, what does that reveal? Where does reflexivity go if a programme promotes relationality but never reads the words a learner has carefully prepared?
I write this not to accuse, but to ask. Not to shame, but to illuminate.
What This Series Will Ask — and Why
In this series, I will explore five ethical and institutional questions that emerged from my journey, not to accuse, but to inquire. My case is not a complaint. It is evidence, grounded in syllabi, feedback, and ethics taught by the university itself.
These posts will be respectful, research-informed, and firm, not soft or bitter. I will cite what I learned from UH Open University coursework and global theorists and use that learning to hold institutions accountable to the values they claim to teach.
Five Questions to Open the Gate
Over the following six essays, I will examine five core questions that emerged through this journey, each grounded in academic study, personal experience, and ethical inquiry:
- Bureaucracy in Ethical Clothing
- Who Gets to Define “Applicable” Studies?
- When Reflexivity Ends at the Gate
- Decolonial Theory as Institutional Costume
- The Quiet Erasure of the Intercultural Learner
- After the Closed Door — A Reflection
These writings are not complaints; they are case studies. These questions are not rhetorical; they are rooted in pedagogy. And this blog is not a protest. It is a contribution.
To the Reader & Myself: This is not the end, it’s the frame
If you are a learner who has ever felt invisible in a system that teaches visibility, this is for you.
If you are an educator, evaluator, or curriculum designer, may this be a mirror you are not afraid to look into.
And if you are me, reading this months or years from now, remember: You did not fail. You reflected. You wrote. You published. You learned. And that, too, is a kind of graduation.
Let the right doors open at the right time.
Let the wrong ones remain closed with grace.
And let the path ahead be walked with clarity, courage, and calm.